Monday, June 18, 2012
Oh, The Patients You'll See!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're an attending on your way!
You have a stethoscope around your neck
And a prescription pad in your pocket
You know how to examine the oropharynx
And even the eye socket
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look at many practices. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
except those that make you moan.
In that case, of course,
you'll start one on your own.
There's more freedom there
in the wide open air.
In private practice things can happen
and frequently do
to people as smart
and studious as you.
And when patients start to line up at your door,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just remember what your learned in residency.
You'll do what your mentors would do.
THE PATIENTS YOU'LL SEE!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great pathology!
You'll walk in the footsteps of giants
And be brilliant without apology.
Others will lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang of consultants and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you practice, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your consultants will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll remain in a diagnostic Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Regaining the confidence in yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the text books are not marked.
Some pages are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you couldn't diagnose a sprain of a hip or elbow
Do you dare wait it out? Do you dare consult ortho?
And IF you consult ortho, should you go with Dr. Kim or Dr. Right...
or maybe you should call rheum? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or get an Xray, you shouldn't decide blind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start to pace
down long winding hospital corridors at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Fear Of Litigation Place...
...for people just waiting
to get sued.
Waiting for a suture to blow
or a lab to be lost, or blood to flow
or the mail to come, or the process server to show
or the phone to ring, or the patient to know
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for a fever to break
or waiting for the graft to take
or waiting around for the rash to flake
or waiting, perhaps, for a call from the patient's Uncle Jake
or a cough to clear, or a Better Break
or a trusting glance
or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
and forget what the lawyers are saying
With lab coat flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for any illness under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Oh, the patient's you'll see! There are diagnoses to make!
There are lungs to be auscultated. there are cultures to take.
And the magical things you can do with that brilliant mind
will make you the smartest doctor of all time
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you give press conferences on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll be lonely too.
There are demons you can't cure
'cause the demons are inside you..
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
A doctor is quite a lot.
And when you're a physician, there's a very good chance
you'll see things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though your mood be foul
On you will go
though the microbes prowl
On you will go
though the sickley howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your stomach may be weak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your dilemmas
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange diseases as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL SAVE LIVES!
be your name Mayo, Mohs, or Mcbride
or any of the other giants we talk of with such great pride,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your patients are waiting.
So...get on your way!
Adapted from Dr. Seus, Oh! The places You'll Go!
Posted by Jordan Grumet at 6:27 PM